Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Writing Prompt: I Watch Junk T.V.

10 reasons why you could not be a real housewife from any county.
  1. The classiest alcoholic beverage I drink is Boonsfarm.
  2. Instead of having two rotating nannies for my one child, I, and this may be hard to believe, but I actually spend time with my kid *GASP*. 
  3. While I’m extremely busy actually working, raising a child, actually being married (rather than someone’s ex-wife), I don’t seem to need a personal assistant. 
  4. I’m not actually a housewife. 
  5. I don’t feel the need to tell everyone how insert positive character trait here, because my actions/appearance actually do that for me. 
  6. I don’t have any “frienemies.”
  7. I’d never be able to be a cougar. Or whatever the opposite of a cougar is (a girl who dates an insanely older man...kitten?). 
  8. I stopped partying, getting shitfaced, and acting like a complete ass when I was...Oh, wait, I never did that. 
  9. My mom doesn’t look like a woman crossed with a large, unattractive cat (watch the Real Housewives of Miami--you’ll know what I’m talking about). 
  10. These boobs? REAL. 
Okay, while all that might seem a bit...harsh...I have to admit, I love the Real Housewives shows--all of them (though NYC is my fave, though it isn’t the same now that Bethenny is gone).


Pumpkin Delight said...

Ha ha ha! I love it! I too am a RHWof? lover. I watch them all and love every minute of it even though the whole time I'm thinking, "Who do these people think they are?" I guess it makes me feel bettera about my poor self.
Your list is great...and so true!

stopped by from mama kat's

Kirsten said...

I know! It's a real confidence booster. I think, I might be completely ridiculous, but at least I can move my face. :-)

Kristy said...

Love #3 and #5! I love Bethenny. So glad she has her own show.

Stephanie said...

I love #9! I watched a few minutes of a Miami episode and I know exactly what you're talking about. I was so frightened I changed the channel!

Just A Philly Girl said...

The New York gals are my fave of all of them!

Isn't it funny how they constantly have to spout off about what good people they are? Never knew you could be friends and enemies at the same time. That is such a foreign concept to me. Another foreign concept is that of the nanny, personal chef, and personal assistant. I do it all for my family with no pay and I like it that way!

#9, well now I have an excuse to catch up on the Miami gals. My husband will thank you for that. LOL!

And I think I wanna renew my #8 days, if only for a weekend!

Thanks for the smiles!!

Jessica said...

I didn't even know Boonsfarm was still around. I'm going to have to watch Miami now to see that cat looking mom.

Patrice said...

Yeah, my mom looks WAY better than Elsa from Miami!!! Visiting from Mama Kat's!

Anonymous said...

miami is the only one i didn't watch & now i must go look it up to see the cat reference!!! bethenny ever after is the bomb, have you seen it?

Kirsten said...

Blahyaya - I LURVE Bethenny Ever After!

Patrice and Stephanie - Elsa is ridonculous. She scares me. She looks exactly like that lady who had all that plastic surgery to look like a cat. Creepy!

Jessica - Boonsfarm is alive and well ;-) That's how we do it here in Maine, ayuh.

Kristy - I love how they do the editing on these shows. The women go on and on about how they're this and that, blah, blah, blah, but then the footage they show completely contradicts what they say. I don't understand why these women stay on the shows--totally not flattering.

Just A Philly Gal - I think, sometimes, an 8 day might be necessary, haha, but not quite as frequently as the Real Housewives have them.

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